What Does it Mean to “Be Healthy”?

A good friend of mine invited me to contribute to a book she was writing, about what it takes to “Be the Exception.” It’s a wonderful project about steps to overcome hardship and live an exceptional life. She asked me to describe one of the steps, in my own words, about what it means to “be healthy.” It’s an interesting question. In fact, most of my clients will tell me exactly that: “I just want to be healthy.” To which I respond, “What does that mean? How will you know when you’re healthy?” Most reply that it means “to get in shape.” Others say that it is “to have more energy” or “to feel better.” It seems like a simple question, but what does it really mean to “be healthy”?

The above picture is the image that propelled me to think differently about what health means to me. I was at a turning point in my life after years of excessive, compulsive exercise, restrictive eating, and the never-ending battle to be “as healthy as I could be.” A painful divorce; sinking into a crippling depression; and, cycling into emotional, binge eating made me realize I had to figure out how I was going to be “healthy” for my two young children. My world had changed dramatically and no amount of exercise or eating well was going to change that.

The word “health” means different things to different people. In fact, it’s taken on new meaning to me over the years. I was brought up to value health, but most of what I understood about “being healthy” was related to physical health. And, most notably, if you weren’t thin, you weren’t healthy.

So, I pursued thinness. Right along with the rest of our culture, I pursued the belief that if you have the “right” body size and eat the “right” way, your problems will be solved and you will live happily and healthfully ever after.  And, being a perfectionist, I’m quite certain I did it the “right” way.  Unfortunately, there was no “happy and healthy” for me during this time. Now, there’s nothing wrong with trying to eat well and stay physically fit. However, when this is your number one priority in life, it turns out, it can become quite “unhealthy”!

Although I struggled with my distorted beliefs about health early on in life, I went on to pursue a master’s degree in nutrition science and completed the requirements to be a Registered Dietitian. I’m fascinated by science and really do love food and eating. So, in many ways, my education was an important part of correcting some of my misunderstanding about physical health.  With some practice, my personal relationship with food, eating, exercise and weight began to come into balance.

My quest for finding peace or a healthy relationship with food, eating and weight; however, has less to do with what I eat or how much I exercise, and everything to do with my mindset, priorities and learning to manage adversity. 

Over and over again, people try to quantify “health” by referencing weight, body fat percentage, BMI (body mass index), calories consumed, calories burned, how many steps you’ve taken, hormone levels, and on and on. Ugh! This is just madness! I know, I’ve tried it all.

Of course there is a correlation between many of these indices and one’s physical health, but it really doesn’t tell us anything about the person’s overall health – which includes how they manage stress; whether they have healthy, intimate relationships; if they smoke; do they get productive sleep; or what their overall emotional state is. Unfortunately, there is too much room for misinterpretation and judgement of a person’s true health with this preoccupation of numbers. The principles of Health at Every Size are a great example of expanding the definition of a person’s overall relationship with food, eating and weight.

Truly, the pain inflicted on people because of our culture’s obsession with weight bias and stigma (at every age these days) is far from healthy! 

So, if these numbers don’t give us the complete picture of health, what else matters? Well, what keeps a person functioning when stress, trauma and pain strikes, while another falls to pieces? Resilience. Physical health certainly plays a role in a person’s ability to be resilient, but there is much more to it. Plenty of research has demonstrated that nutrition and activity are important, but faith, sleep, positive relationships, and stress management are the difference makers for overcoming hardship and staying well.

A great example of this is illustrated in a landmark study, called The 90+ Study, of thousands of members of a retirement community in Southern California. This study is revealing factors that may contribute to living longer. It’s no surprise that researchers have found that smoking leads to shorter lifespans, while those who exercise live longer. Other findings have been unexpected — vitamins did not prolong life, but carrying some extra weight did.

My personal experience of overcoming divorce, loneliness, and stress along with my professional experience as a clinical dietitian working in mental health has clearly demonstrated to me that “being healthy” is more than a person’s body size.

My dear friend’s book, Be the Exception: Your 7 Steps to Transformation, dramatically illustrates this truth through her sensitive, kind and inspiring words.

And…most important my parents have demonstrated what optimal health is. At that dark, pivotal point in my life (over 15 years ago now), I saw my 60+ year old father pushing my kids up the hill in front of our home and realized, that’s what I want! I just want to be able to do that when I’m a grandparent.

Still today, my parents continue to role model a healthy lifestyle. They’re active, travel regularly, remodel and restore homes, climb houses (my dad pictured below oiling their weather vane), have healthy relationships, are devoted to their faith, eat intuitively and enjoy quality time with friends and family.

For me, I’ve learned to balance my time by living what I teach – eating intuitively and staying active. I don’t always do it perfect, correct and right, but my priorities of faith and family first, certainly keep me grounded.  My greatest joy is my kids and cooking, family meals and quality time with friends and family.

Pictured below is our family trip to Key West, Florida to celebrate my parent’s 55th wedding anniversary!  Life is tough – that’s for sure – but truly enjoying good food, eating and fun activity is just part of everyday life.

 

Lost in a Box of Chocolates?

February is American Heart Month! This month is all about spreading awareness about heart disease, especially for women!

At the same time, we celebrate our emotional hearts with Valentine’s Day!

For many people, this is the obvious collision of what so many of us seem to struggle with daily – how to take care of our health and wellness, while being constantly bombarded by highly palatable treats and other carb-laden goodies!

Freedom from food (as a source of comfort) is possible! And, it’s a bit more complicated than just reading this blog and wah-lah you’re fixed. But, it does start with awareness and a plan. Therefore, I’m hopeful some of these basic tips will get you started on a path of a new relationship with food – one in which you are sure you are feeding your stomach – and not your heart!

Managing Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is when an emotion triggers a person to eat, instead of the physical symptom of hunger.  There are many misconceptions about emotional eating.  One of the biggest myths is that all emotional eating leads to overeating and weight gain.  In fact, it is natural to eat for emotional reasons and still maintain your weight.  For example, celebrations with family and friends often include special foods that we have an emotional relationship with.  Having birthday cake with friends, not because you are hungry, but because it feels good isn’t necessarily a prescription for overeating or weight gain.   In fact, a recent study investigated how an individual’s perceptions about eating a food, like chocolate cake, influenced their motivation to maintain a healthy eating plan.  Researchers discovered that those who felt “guilty” after eating a piece of cake were more likely to sabotage their weight loss efforts than those who associated the cake with “celebration.”

So then, what’s the problem with emotional eating?  Emotional eating is a problem when you abuse it.  When a person is out of touch with their feelings and eats to comfort themselves or stuff their feelings down, it can result in overeating.  When an individual engages in this behavior day after day, it is likely to result in weight gain.

Diets and forbidden foods often make the problem worse.  Dieters, or individuals with restricted eating patterns, are typically eating less than they need; less of the foods they enjoy; and, are chronically hungry.  When faced with stress or other emotions, the ability to maintain control of the restrained eating becomes intolerable for the individual who “gives in” and overeats.  In these situations, the individual eats quickly; is distracted; and, is disconnected from his or her internal cues.  Feeling guilty and remorseful, the dieter tries harder to restrict the eating and the cycle continues.

How to stop abusing emotional eating.

1. Identify your triggers.  Keep a mood food diary and track information about your meals and snacks (including unplanned eating), Write down what you are eating, when you are eating, where you are eating, whom you are eating with, and how you are feeling at the time.  Many of my clients strongly object to keeping a journal for various reasons.  Taking time with a nutritionist or other health professional to discuss strategies to overcome  those barriers may be key for you to take the first step in getting control of your emotional eating.
2. Don’t skip meals.  Feed yourself regularly while being mindful of balance, variety and moderation in your meal planning.
3. Eat whole foods.   Eating whole foods that you enjoy, on a regular basis, can help to balance out your mood and provide consistent energy during the day.
4. Develop alternative coping skills to manage your emotions. Take a moment to create a list of activities you can use when emotions run high.  Things like calling a friend, gardening, being outside, reading, and taking a bath are all examples.  Many activities result in the release of the chemicals in the brain that help us feel better.  I suggest that individuals have their list visible and easily available.  When you notice a trigger to use food for comfort, try one of the items from your list.  After 10 minutes, if the food is still beckoning you, try the 2^nd activity for 10 minutes, and so on.  Usually if you make it to the 3^rd activity, you will notice that the urge to eat is less.
5. Try Individual or group counseling. Talking about your triggers and getting support for planning healthy meals and snacks may be the key to making the behavior changes that are needed.

Do Fear-Based Nutrition Messages Really Work?

An old Chinese proverb suggests “It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness”. The meaning behind this proverb is that in bad times or hopelessness, it’s better to do something – no matter how small – than to curse your plight or misery. Lately, I’m wondering if we need to do both.

I don’t know about you, but although fear-based messages about food and nutrition in media and advertising may be “something” aimed at improving health and wellness, they drive me nuts because of the negative effect these messages have on a significant number of people.

Consider the following statements I’ve read recently: “cow’s milk is toxic”; “sugar and carbohydrate-based foods are the underlying cause of all disease”; “GMO’s cause cancer”; “animal products cause heart disease and death.” Really? We know that for sure?  Of course each of these proclamations is from “an expert” that has something to sell – a book, a diet program, supplements, a blog, endorsements, an industry. So perhaps I feel the need to “curse the darkness.”

Recently, I listened to a highly credentialed food and nutrition expert discuss an important topic related to food, mood and the brain. Initially, I was captivated by the research and science related to what we are learning in the field of neuroscience.

And then it started…the preaching or “nutrition evangelism” (as I like to call it). That idea that it is her “duty” to question and convince everyone – at parties, in the grocery store, wherever – that what they are eating is making them sick; will cause a horrible disease; and will likely result in a pain-filled and shortened life. This is where the “expert” lost me.

Look, I get it. We live in a sedentary and toxic food environment with a lot of choices that aren’t so helpful for achieving optimal wellness – and other choices that are.  And, the reality is that many individuals are truly struggling to navigate this “toxic” environment. But, for the “experts” out there – describe a time you sat with an individual, or group of people, struggling with binge eating, disordered eating, or just their relationship with food, eating and weight?  Have you heard about the pain and trauma people experience when you follow through on your “duty” to proclaim what they have in their grocery cart is “bad”; “will make them fat” and “cause horrible disease?”

Or, how about the latest viral video (interestingly sponsored by Chipotle) that so dramatically describes how horrible the food industry is? So, it’s okay to eat the Chipotle burrito that has the nutritional equivalent of more than 2 meals because their food is from some non-GMO, organic farm? Sadly, this was distributed through a news feed to folks who already struggle with disordered eating.

The reality is that this dramatic, fear-based strategy doesn’t work, as evidenced by most victims of this experience reporting more anxiety and stress; increased cycles of restricting and overeating; more shame, guilt and clinical depression. The truth is that some people may benefit from lowering their carbohydrate intake, replacing cow’s milk, or more carefully considering their selection of foods. It’s likely we all need to move more and “eat more real food.” But, a one-size-fits-all approach is not the answer and catastrophizing the situation doesn’t help anyone and likely causes more damage.

Instead, consider asking yourself the following questions when reviewing health and nutrition information for “something” that may help YOU feel more hopeful with your health goals:

What are they trying to sell me?

Does it sound too good to be true?

Is the message informative or make me feel worried, bad, guilty?

Is the information based on un-biased scientific research?

There are a LOT of different opinions about what is “healthy” and “what is not.” What I’ve heard from my clients is that people need more positive messages based on credible evidence about food and nutrition and how to make realistic lifestyle change, i.e. when choosing fast food, consider wholesome food choices such as a burrito bowl, with tortillas on the side, and make your own reasonable-sized burrito (with leftovers to spare). Only then will people be able to experience the freedom to choose what will work for them; rather than coerced or “bullied” into something that benefits the seller – not optimal wellness.

Managing Emotional Eating

February is American Heart Month! Type the words “heart health” in Google and you get over 325 million tips and resources, all related to preventing or improving physical heart health. The thing is, most people already know what these are: eat more fruits, vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, omega-3 fats…and exercise!

Unfortunately, my experience has been that so many people are really struggling with feeding their “hungry heart” rather than their stomach. Some of this is related to living in a society overly focused on competition and comparison, rather than self-care and compassion. Individuals of all ages and activity levels feel stigmatized for not meeting a certain standard, and often turn to food to comfort this pain.

And, what’s the solution to this problem? More diets. Diets are all about rules that initially provide a sense of control for the dieter, but also carry this message that having a weight problem means you lack what it takes to “follow the rules” and the cycle of shame, stress, defeat…and emotional eating continues.

Emotional eating is when an emotion triggers a person to eat, instead of the physical symptom of hunger. There are many misconceptions about emotional eating.  One of the biggest myths is that all emotional eating leads to overeating and weight gain. In fact, it is natural to eat for emotional reasons and still maintain your weight. For example, celebrations with family and friends often include special foods that we have an emotional relationship with.  Having birthday cake with friends, not because you are hungry, but because it feels good isn’t necessarily a prescription for overeating or weight gain.

So then, what’s the problem with emotional eating?  Emotional eating is a problem when it is out of control or contributes to more emotions, such as feelings of guilt or shame. When a person is out of touch with their feelings, and eats to comfort themselves or “stuff their feelings down”, it can result in overeating. When an individual engages in this behavior day after day, it is likely to result in weight gain. In a study published in the journal, Appetite, researchers from the University of Canterbury investigated how an individual’s perceptions about eating a food, like chocolate cake, influenced their motivation to maintain a healthy eating plan. They discovered that those who felt “guilty” after eating a piece of cake were more likely to sabotage their weight loss efforts than those who associated the cake with “celebration.”

Diets and having forbidden foods often make the problem worse. Dieters, or individuals with restricted eating patterns, are typically eating less than they need; less of the foods they enjoy; and, are chronically hungry.  When faced with stress or other emotions, the ability to maintain control of the restrained eating becomes intolerable for the individual who “gives in” and overeats. In these situations, the individual often eats quickly; is distracted; and, is disconnected from his or her internal cues. Feeling guilty and remorseful, the dieter tries harder to restrict the eating and the cycle continues.

So, what can you do to manage emotional eating?
Identify your triggers.  Keep a mood food diary and track information about your meals and snacks (including unplanned eating). Write down what you are eating, when you are eating, where you are eating, whom you are eating with, and how you are feeling at the time.  Many of my clients strongly object to keeping a journal for various reasons.  Taking time with a nutritionist or other health professional to discuss strategies to overcome those barriers may be key for you to take the first step in getting control of your emotional eating.

Don’t skip meals.  Feed yourself regularly while being mindful of balance, variety and moderation in your meal planning.

Eat whole foods.   Eating whole foods that you enjoy, on a regular basis, can help to balance out your mood and provide consistent energy during the day.

Develop alternative coping skills to manage your emotions.  Take a moment to create a list of activities you can use when emotions run high.  Things like calling a friend, gardening, going outdoors, reading, doing a puzzle are all examples. Many activities, such as these, result in the release of the chemicals in the brain that help us feel better.  I suggest that individuals have their list visible and easily available.  When you notice a trigger to use food for comfort, try one of the items from your list.  After 10 minutes, if the food is still beckoning you, try the 2nd activity for 10 minutes, and so on.  Usually if you make it to the 3rd activity, you will notice that the urge to eat is less.

Try Individual or group counseling.  Talking about your triggers, and getting support for planning healthy meals and snacks, may be the key to making the behavior changes that are needed.